I was unsure about writing this, but after hearing some other people talk about their wonderful world of dating I thought I should share my experiences thus far. It’s bound to give you a good chuckle I’m sure. In the past, lets say almost 2 years, I’ve had quite the time with this whole dating thing and some of the stories are just too good to not share. I’ve learned to laugh at the mishaps and take everything with a grain of salt, because there’s really no point in spending too much time agonizing over failed attempts of dating amiright? I apologize in advance to the guys who read this and who may or may not be the inspiration for this post. I won’t use real names obviously, but just know I’ve enjoyed this little journey and hey, no hard feelings okay? You’re all one of a kind. Also, you might want to get comfy, this post might be a *tad* longer than usual…
Anyways, before I dive in I should explain that I’m extremely picky, I have a tendency to fall into the same patterns with men and I’ve honestly never been more befuddled by the opposite sex in my whole life. This has been such an eye opener for me, considering I never did the whole dating thing when I was younger, so having to meet new people and realizing that not everyone is raised with common sense or decency has been quite the time. Not to say that every encounter has been awful, because they haven’t been, but after each failed date they have helped me to realize what I do and do not want in a potential partner. So that’s a step in the right direction. Right? Right.
Alright, so I know you’re waiting for some hot goss but bear with me here, I have some more to talk about before I get into the nitty gritty details. Let me first explain that dating is dating. You don’t have to settle and jump all in with the first person you go for supper with (yes that took a while to learn) and you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty about going on a few dates in a short period of time. Or even chatting with a few people at once. We’re allowed to see what our options are and until someone drops the whole “hey are we exclusive” talk (do people still do that?) then you’re free to explore and have awkward conversations over a good old vodka water *with a slice of lime*. You’re kidding yourself if you think I agree to these dates without something to take the edge off. Come on now.
Now that I have a solid
20 couple, maybe more dates under my belt (not literally, keep your heads out of the gutter) I’d like to think I have a better idea of how this dating game works. Or at least I’ve come to see some patterns and themes, which is likely more on me than the well meaning men who attempt to take me out. I’m still laughing as I type this by the way. Please try to remember that this is not a serious post and is more a chance to find some humor in my dating misfortunes.
Okay, on with it. So THEMES. Well for one I’ve been prone to plan a date with someone, where it either crashes and burns within the first 10 minutes and I can’t wait for it to be over, or they don’t show up (yes this happens) and all of a sudden out of the blue it’s like a magnet…BAM some random person who I didn’t expect to see or hang out with, shows up and attempts to sweep me off my feet. Or I do the sweeping, it’s really a toss up. It’s like an internal alarm goes off within single men that I’ve briefly met before and they’re like “That girl there! She needs to have fun tonight…It’s my time to shine” and they proceed to waltz in and turn my night around with one strategically placed compliment after another. Keep in mind these men generally don’t stick around, they’re more of a “I’m here for a good time, not a long time”, which gives you a short lived confidence boost and leaves you scratching your head the next day going, “Wow, I did NOT see that coming”. I’m sure my initial date shared the same thoughts, but I really can’t say for sure because well, he didn’t make it to phase 2 of keeping in touch. Poor fella. This has literally happened more times than I thought it would. Which is another reason to not take dating seriously. You just never know what will happen. So much fun right? I hope you committed people are appreciating your person a little more right now…
Alright, ANOTHA ONE… I have the tendency to get involved with people who live far away. It’s ridiculous. And I’m working on it. Sort of. Okay, maybe not that hard, but that’s not the point here. It’s always by chance that I meet these people, hit it off with them and catch them damn feelings before taking into account that they live FREAKING FOREVER away from me. I kid you not, this has happened at least 5 times. I don’t know if it’s because I like a challenge, or the fact that it’s someone not from here and that’s exciting? But it never works out. At least it hasn’t yet. Still might give it a few more tries (haha why am I like this). My guess is that we all want someone who would put distance aside and make it work. They would show their ultimate commitment by not letting a few hours of travel stand between you and them and eventually they’d move in with you and you’d live happily ever after. I’m not asking for much here guys. It’s a modern day fairy tale. Getting the chance to say, “Oh so and so just liked me so much that he decided to move to be closer to me and give our relationship a chance” wouldn’t be awful. Crazy, yes, but definitely wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. I’ll let you know how it works out when it finally does happens. Standby.
Okay, the last pattern, which hopefully you still want to hear about because damn this post is getting long and I’ve barely scratched the surface. So there’s two main types of men out there that you have to maneuver through in the dating world. First one being the “I know it’s only our first date but I want to create a life with you and make this official right now” kind of guy (who let me be clear, creates a sense of PANIC in me), and then there’s the second one, the “I’m going to talk to you lots, we’re going to hang out and have fun but I’ll likely tell you some BS excuse a month or two later that this can’t amount to anything” kind of guy. Both are suuuuuper fun to deal with (I really hope you’re picking up on my sarcasm right now) and I honestly can’t decide which one is worse because they both bring on their own sense of awkwardness and mixed emotions. The first one is usually hard to get rid of (that’s a whole other story for another time) and the second one generally disappears faster than you can say “Hey I’ve had a great time we should do that again…” It’s really a wild roller coaster ride out there people. Most times I’m stuck with thinking “How in the eff am I going to get out of this situation without hurting his feelings” or “Wow, that DID NOT pan out how I thought it would, was sure great meeting his friends and family though…”
The best part though is that in between those two extremes are the ones who are there to just make you feel like a million bucks. You know, the ones who you have a mutual understanding with that this isn’t going to go anywhere but we might as well make the most of it right? They’re the fun guys. The ones who are ridiculously good looking, they’re hilarious, easy to be around and leave you wishing you could lock them down for the long haul. But alas, they’re just not meant to be that person for you. And you’re fine with that (kind of). These guys are usually the ones who give you that confidence boost that you need after a string of bad dates. They’re your *whispering* great white buffalo. They’re the ones who you’re just grateful to have been around and when you think about them you can’t help but smile. Of course you’ll likely not see them again, but the memories are good ones. These guys are few and far between and show up just when you need them to. You’ll get that extra motivation to stay in the dating world after meeting them because they remind you that you are a total catch and that there are good guys out there who are single too. Also, I should note that these guys usually live far away too…go figure.
Now I could keep going, but I’m going to cut it off there because wow, this post is LONG. If you’ve made it this far, I hope you got some entertainment out of it and hopefully you can or can’t relate to it, depends on where you’re at in life I guess. I could definitely go on a lot longer about each dating trial I’ve been on in the last 2 years, but maybe I’ll save that for a book idea later on. All in all, just know that if you’re in the dating scene, we’re all struggling through it and hoping that every time we swipe right or make eye contact in a bar that we’ll miraculously find our soulmate. So keep up the good fight and I hope all you single people out there have some fun this weekend. Enjoy your time alone, your routine, and the fact that you can do whatever the hell you want. As for you people who are coupled up, do us a favour and stop telling us to be patient and find some single friends to hook us up with already! We need all the help we can get.
…to be continued…