Alright, the time has come to talk about…dating. Now, before you get all excited at the prospect of new gossip, I regret to inform you that alas, I am still solo. But, to be fair, it’s by choice, although it has crossed my mind a fair amount this last little while. The thing is, I’ve been dwelling on this for some time. It’s been over a year now and I kind of feel like it may be time to jump back in and see what’s out there. Except the thought of dating makes me want to hurl. So there’s that. I was also going to title this post “The Dating Game: A Single Girl’s Nightmare” but felt that would set a pretty ominous tone and I’m trying to stay positive about this chapter in life…
Let’s be honest though, it’s just so…awkward. Dating in high school is one thing, but dating after divorce with a child is a totally different ball park that I have no clue how to maneuver through. It’s been a solid 10 years since I’ve had to partake in it and let me tell you, I wasn’t exactly an all star at it before. My introverted side tells me to just hang out at home and bask in the comforts of my own space while I wait for someone to magically appear, while my extroverted side is screaming at me and telling me I’ll never meet anyone if I never leave the house. The struggle is real.
Plus, there’s so many variables about the whole dating scene. What are the rules? The expectations? It turns out that in this day and age, there’s a ton. You could be texting and chatting with someone for months on end, thinking it’s going somewhere, when all of a sudden you’re faced with the friend zone and a confused look on your face. Or better yet, you get “ghosted” (a new term I learned to feel hip and cool) and all that time you spent talking basically led to the other person disappearing…with no explanation. Oh how fun. And even better, there’s rules on texting now! Did you know that a double text (two texts right after each other) is seen as needy and desperate and something you should never do? If you’re like me, you did not know this. And you don’t overly care. Clearly I need to pick up a new Cosmo every once in a while to properly understand these “techniques” *insert the biggest eye roll you’ve ever seen*
Next, and this is a big one, is the time you invest. As I slowly approach the idea of dating, I worry that I won’t have time to properly invest in someone. Between raising a high energy boy and attempting to work and make a stable income, I don’t exactly have a lot of free time. And when I do, I usually already have a plan on how I’ll spend it, so it’s going to take someone pretty special to fill it up. Take note.
On a brighter note, this year has been filled with A LOT of reflection and deciding what I need/want in terms of a potential relationship. It has taken a lot of confidence boosters, positive self talk and learning to love myself to get me comfortable with the idea of being with someone new and I must say, I’m feeling pretty good about the whole idea. It was almost like I had an epiphany like Jess from New Girl when she bursts out of her room yelling “I’M READY” to everyone, despite elaborating on the fact she meant she’s ready to start dating again. We share the same awkwardness so it seemed fitting.
I guess what I wanted to get across today is that no matter your situation, dating is not an easy or fun thing to start or do. There’s a lot of small talk, sweaty hands, one too many drinks to calm the nerves and sometimes hurt feelings. Obviously I’m going to take baby steps and stay optimistic about it all, but high fives to all of you that are enduring this awkward stage in life. It’s a lot to think about, especially after a separation, but I’m hopeful. I suppose that’s all you can be really, blindly optimistic that there is someone out there who will compliment you in ways no one has before. We are all worthy of love, no matter our past, and I do have faith that there’s someone for everyone. Plus, I don’t think I’m ready to own 30 cats just yet 😉