Independent Tendencies 

If you’re someone who likes to go about things on your own and who generally doesn’t need (or want) help from others, then we have something in common. Do you find that you don’t rely on a lot of people because you know you can do things by yourself? If so, then welcome to the club.

 I’m here to talk about what it’s like to be super independent and driven and how it can sometimes affect the things/people around you. I know there’s others out there like me so I’m writing this to say that “I GET IT”, I’m with you and I understand your self sufficient (sometimes overwhelming) ways. 

For some (not all), once you’re in the habit of doing things for yourself and by yourself, it’s tough to change your tendencies and see the overall effects of your independence on others and the situations you come into contact with. Most of the time when you’re fiercely self reliant you tackle things head on and almost get tunnel vision when you set your sights on what you want. For me, I find that I have no problem diving into things at full speed and I’m realizing now that to a lot of people, it can be overwhelming and shocking to them when this plays out. Oops. 

Us go-getters usually have an easy sense of knowing what we want and when we want it and sometimes we forget the word “patience”…which can be a bit troublesome. We are generally so used to accomplishing things quickly because we’ll work our asses off for it non-stop until it’s done and sometimes it’s hard for us to comprehend that some things just take time and can’t be done or figured out overnight. To people who like to analyze things and take their time to weigh out options, this approach can come across as severe and overbearing, and it’s definitely not intentional from our side of things. We just always have a sense of urgency and base our successes on the timeline created in our minds, whether it’s realistic or not. 

A lot of people who are self reliant also possess a bit of a Type A personality and I’m definitely no exception. I know that I can be outgoing, competitive and somewhat assertive and I try to do a million things at once. As hard as I try to keep it all altogether, it doesn’t take long for cracks to start forming. Balancing things has never been my strong suit and I get easily consumed with focusing my time and energy on one main priority, all the while juggling five other things. It’s exhausting and yet another learning curve for me. Which, yes I’m working on…slowly. 

When you spend a lot of time alone (I’m all about that hermit life), it’s easy to want to fill your time up with as much as possible and focus in on your goals and fantasies. It consumes us, and it’s really no fault of our own, it’s just how we are. We often make our minds up right away of how we want things to play out and we often don’t think about the outside factors that might come into affect. Everything is usually full speed ahead until reality kicks in and stops us in our tracks, and I’m telling you from experience that it’s a tough pill to swallow. When you’re super self-sufficient you often only think about how YOU will attain your goal and unfortunately you don’t always take other people into consideration. Which again, is never on purpose and when we recognize it, we usually feel bad about it. It’s easy for us to think that others share the same mindset as we do and that usually causes some friction and miscommunication. 

Taking this into consideration and recognizing it, has given me (and hopefully others) the chance to gain some clarity on our ways and it can teach us how to reel our actions in and use them to their full potential. I know that I need to practice patience and trust the timing of things more often and that I need to quit getting ahead of myself. It’s a slow process but learning to take a step back can sometimes pay off in the long run. More often than not we have a picture in our minds of how we WANT things to be and we get very discouraged when those visions don’t materialize right away or if at all. It’s taken me a long time to learn that I can’t control everything and that sometimes the best thing you can do is loosen your grip and hope for the best. 

So to all you independent, focused, freewheeling people out there, I get you and I hope that you take the time to see things from other people’s points of views because sometimes they can offer a lot of insight. There’s always different ways to improve upon yourself and I hope you all take the time to do so, no matter your personality. Yes, it’s great to be self sufficient but sometimes you need to relax and learn to let things play out. You cannot control each and every event that comes into your life, and that’s OKAY. Learn to breathe, trust the process and allow things to happen how they’re supposed to. Yes, it can be difficult, but periods of growth and change usually are and they’re definitely worth it in the end. 


Ladies! Listen Up…

Now, I really should be packing for my weekend away but I’ve had this somewhat nagging voice in my head these last couple days telling me to write and get my words out. So I figured I might as well do it now because this weekend will definitely be too busy to sit and blog. Fun fact: I’m going to Banff for my second half marathon and am beyond excited to be surrounded by mountains. It’s a girl’s weekend and it’s a very welcomed break (minus the 21km of running). 

So the thing I want to talk about today is more geared towards us women, but could definitely be applied to men as well. But, that’s up to you. What I want to discuss is a little thing I call respect. For today’s purpose, it’s in the focus of relationships. Now, given I am no expert in this department, but I have been through my fair share of…how do I say this nicely…BS. I feel like I’m finally back on my feet and kicking ass and taking names and I want to empower more women and let them know that they are worthy of good things, especially when it comes to relationships. 

In the sense of relationships, one of the biggest things I have noticed and have come to realize is that if there is no respect within a relationship, then there is no point in staying in it. Seems pretty common sense but you’d be surprised at how it can slowly creep in and take over. You sometimes think that you can build it up and “work” on it, but trust me when I say this, there’s no way that’s ever going to change a disrespectful man. They’re already set in their ways and are in no hurry to fix themselves.

It crushes me to see women with men who have zero interest in respecting her, her belongings and her overall interests and personal life. Ladies, I’m here to tell you that if he’s pushing your boundaries and overstepping and making you feel less than great early on, it’s not going to change. Ever. Get out now because once he’s established having no respect for you it will only snowball and start causing emotional stress on you. Pretty soon you start to see these smart, beautiful, fiery women feeling insecure and hiding their real selves because the “boy” they’re with has made them feel that way. This may be coming across as a rant, but I feel very passionate about this because I’ve dealt with it. It sucks and it’s hard to come to terms with. Plus, this is my way of finally letting go of some of my old baggage, so bear with me here. 

You don’t realize at the time that those are components of a bad relationship until you are out of it. It’s very easy to get caught up in it and many times you wind up blaming yourself because you’re so used to feeling low. A good relationship doesn’t leave you questioning whether you’re a good person or not. A good relationship is one where you can be yourself, where you’re not walking on eggshells and not in a constant state of anxiety. 

So please, if you have respect for yourself, don’t allow someone else to take it away from you and dangle it over your head. There are far better things out there, and people, who are willing to work with you and build you up and make you feel like your best self. It may not seem like it right away, but I guarantee you you will cross paths with someone who likes you exactly for who you are and who will treat you like the queen you are.

 Life should be fun, relationships should be uplifting and you should radiate that self love like there’s no tomorrow. So all in all, if you respect yourself, you’ll find someone who feels the same way and who will ultimately make you believe in fairytales again. Don’t let a bad relationship ruin your future ones, see it as a lesson and vow to never let it happen again. You can always learn from them and build yourself back up, but just make sure you take the time to find someone who doesn’t tear you back down. There’s good men out there, be patient. 

So there’s your pep talk for the weekend. Time to be the boss babe you were always meant to be and like the saying goes, keep your chin up and don’t let boys be mean to you ✌🏼 

Collecting My Thoughts 

I was going to write about my health and fitness journey, at least that’s what I had planned in my head over the last couple weeks, but now that I’m here, on the deck, with my coffee, I don’t feel like that’s where my thoughts are. Someday soon I’ll dive into that and share with you all the ups and downs I’ve so graciously experienced, but today I think I just want to talk about life as of late. This post is more for me to get my thoughts out so just a heads up, it may not spark interest in you all. But please read on if you’re looking for something to do…

Some of you may know this already, but for those who don’t, I have recently taken over a nutrition business and I finally feel like I’m on the right path (whoop whoop). It’s been a long learning curve for me, especially the business side of things, but it also feels oddly normal and routine. Meeting with clients and sharing their successes and missteps has been absolutely awe inspiring and I’ve gotten a sense of “this is exactly what you need to be doing in life” and for the first time ever, I feel comfortable with the direction I am heading in. 

Now, with that, I’ve also had to do some adjusting with the other aspects in my life. My biggest one right now is the time I’ve had with my horses and the barrel racing season here. My time with my mares is near and dear to my heart and something I couldn’t live without (for reals). Normally, I would be riding every night, planning out jackpots and rodeos for the summer and stocking my trailer with the necessities needed for a weekend away. This was a big part of my life in previous years and I’m slowly coming to terms with it being less of a priority this time around. It’s tough, because I absolutely love it and want Casey to experience that side of things, but at the same time my focus is on our future, building this business up and creating a life that is great for him and I. Now I’m not saying that I will be completely stopping, because let’s be honest, that would be a true heart break, but I’m looking at it as a much needed time out. Sometimes in life we have to sacrifice things we completely enjoy in order to advance to more personal goals, and that’s absolutely okay. 

With that off my chest (this is my stress relief remember?) I just wanted to quickly dabble in what I’ve been doing to keep my anxiety in check and how I’ve been keeping those great outcomes coming my way. Call me crazy (which I’m sure some do), but I whole heartedly believe in the law of attraction. Years ago I kind of half assed the thought of it and how the Universe will serve you back what you put out, and I honestly didn’t take it that seriously. Yes, it sounded cool and somewhat doable, but I never truly put it into practice. Fast forward to now though and you can find me sending out positive vibes like there’s no tomorrow. With this practice, I’ve found that when done consistently, it actually does work on a few levels. 

Picturing the outcome I want to achieve, rather than spending hours replaying stressful, made up scenarios in my head (we all do it) has been the biggest help so far. With any goal or dream that I set, I focus on how it would feel when I achieve it. I picture my exact emotions and sense of accomplishment when I’ve finally attained it and act as if it’s already been done. You have to embrace what you want and the more specific you are, the better. The Universe (or whatever you want to call it) takes exactly what you put forth and will always bring those situations or feelings back to you. 

You may think I’m off my rocker, but I dare you to try it. Shift your thinking and refocus your aspirations. Try to set a goal for the near future and work towards it, but get rid of the apprehension and replace it with excitement and gratefulness. By telling the Universe how happy you are to have this goal accomplished and how wonderful it feels to you, it will give it back to you and allow it all to come full circle. Trust in the process and be patient. It’ll all be worth it. It’s easy to get discouraged but if you keep working at it, you will achieve it. Simple right? Try adding this into your daily routine and give yourself a pat on the back for every stepping stone that you reach. And if all else fails you can say I’m full of it and go after your goals in your own way 😉 

And with that my friends, I’m off to go accumulate my own positive energy and I wish you all a very great weekend ☺️