No Looking Back Now

Recently I’ve started feeling nostalgic…for myself. I’ve been thinking back to the days when I was (semi)carefree and in my own little world. Looking back, I thought I was happy (I wasn’t), I had great confidence (with self image issues) and a pretty good idea of what my future looked like (BOY WAS I WRONG). But with reminiscing on it all, I can’t help but feel happy (?!) that it all worked out the way that it did. I know it seems crazy but let me explain…

I have grown SO MUCH. The only way I could have ever learned so much about what I wanted in life was to go through some pretty shitty times. Would I ever want to do it all again? Well, no, not if I had a choice…BUT I’m glad that I did because honestly as cheesy as it sounds, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t dealt with all the tough decisions and heartbreaking moments that popped up in the last 5 years. It’s been a great example of learning from your mistakes and has given me the knowledge to have a better understanding of which direction I want my life to go in. It’s been pretty interesting to look back on what I thought were devastating moments and realize that they were merely lessons helping me move forward. Losses, divorce, heartbreak, unemployment. Yes, these are all difficult to maneuver and understand, but they shouldn’t be a reason to give up and accept defeat. At least for me they weren’t. I may have a stubborn streak in me that was very determined to prove that I wouldn’t stay down long, I knew I had shit to do and I wasn’t going to stop until I got my feet back under me. I swear us women could breathe fire if we tried hard enough, that’s just how we operate.

When hard times hit you always panic and think “how am I ever going to overcome this?!” But guess what? You will, you always do. You move forward, persist and pretty soon you look back and wish you could give your past self a hug and tell them that much better things are ahead. As I slowly (and excitedly) move into new territory with my little life, I’ve started to notice little glimpses of my past (happier) self. And honestly, I’ve missed her. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was a few years ago, which is good, but the joyfulness and determined attitude I once had are finding their way back. I’m finally doing things for myself (and Casey) and living how I WANT to. At times I didn’t think I’d ever get here. If you would’ve asked me a year ago if I’d be in my own place, with a job I love, back in shape and beaming with a positive outlook I would’ve told you to piss off. I was in a bad place and had no idea what to expect for the upcoming year. And honestly, I still don’t know what to expect for the next year but it doesn’t even matter because I’m loving where I’m at now. Do I still want to make changes? Of course! I’d love to work on my finances more, find a man I can adore everyday, plan an actual holiday, build up my business and give Casey the experiences he deserves. I know there are probably tough times ahead but at least now I know I can make it through them. My support team pulled through this year and knowing I have back up makes it that much easier to face the unknown.

Just know that even when you’re feeling low, have been through hell and back and are ready to wave the white flag, that you are capable of facing and dealing with whatever experiences cross your path. Yes, it’ll be hard, but one day you’ll realize that you’re smiling and laughing and that you haven’t thought about all the tough times in a long time. You’ll soon start to replace those sad memories with joyful new ones and it’ll all seem so far away. Just keep moving forward one little step at a time and it’ll all pay off in the long run. Ask for support, cry to a few friends, write down goals, and be so stubborn on your path to happiness. You’ll learn some things about yourself and those close to you and you may lose a few people along the way, but trust me, it’s all a part of the process. What’s good for you will stay. You’re much stronger than you think 💗

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Celebrate All Victories

When you hear the word victory, what pops into your head? A battle win or winning a game or competition? For most that’s generally what you will think of first. Today I’m not going to talk about a victorious battle or how the underdog team conquered the all stars, what I’m going to talk about are all the little victories each of us have in our days or lifetimes.

These small, nameless victories can range anything from making breakfast, getting ready, getting the kids fed and dressed and making it out the door on time. They could also be the moments when you win over your boss, make a big business sale, nail your interview or pull off an elaborate recipe that turned out amazing. These are the things that we all can encounter, but do we ever take the time to actually appreciate them or celebrate them?

KELLY: BEACH - Victories.

For me, I tend to down play things. I like to see them as “not a big deal” and don’t want to draw attention to them, despite other people’s reactions. I work hard, both in my job and at home, but I don’t like to acknowledge it because my initial reaction is usually, “Someone out there is worker harder than you and pulling off bigger feats so don’t get ahead of yourself”. Ummm…hello Ego! I’ve come to recognize this and decided that you know what? That type of response isn’t working for me anymore. I should be proud of what I have and will accomplish and yes, there may be other people out there doing bigger and better things, but I’m doing my best right now and I need to value myself. Talk about a mind shift!

A lot of times we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be better, work smarter and accomplish more, when really we should be looking at what we HAVE done and how we ARE better. I can bet most of you have made some changes for the better in the past year, so why not celebrate that?! Showcase what you’ve done, big or small, you don’t have to write a newspaper ad, but even telling yourself how far you’ve come can be a huge boost and there’s no harm in that. I think a lot of people worry about gloating or bragging, coming off as cocky or entitled, but it doesn’t have to be like that. You’re not going around telling people how much you made in the last month and rubbing it in their face, instead you’re recognizing that you work full time, run a household and still make time to read your kid a story at night before bed. That’s a victory. Or maybe you made a big move, took on a new job and have transitioned flawlessly into your new role and life. That’s a victory. OR you might have worked overtime a few times each month and are finally treating yourself to a well deserved vacation. That’s definitely a victory.

Whatever the case, we need to start seeing ourselves in a better light. We need to look back on our achievements and not just ones related to money. It’s easy to get caught up in the whole more money = happier life mentality, so we really need to break it down into our day to day accomplishments and wins. A stay at home mom will have a VERY different idea of a daily win than someone who works an office job AND THAT’S OKAY. You are not competing with anyone else. We really need to stop comparing and worrying about what others think about us because honestly, their opinions will not affect our day to day decisions. I say this because it took me a long time to stop caring about what others thought. Everyday I was constantly fretting over every decision I made because “what would people think of me if I did this or that”. In the end, who cares what they would think? Are they in my shoes? No. Will their opinion make me change my mind? No. Do they have any influence over my life? No. Take action, be confident in your choices and celebrate those tiny victories you encounter each day.

Nothing succeeds like success. Minor victories spawn major victories. Major victories spawn a trajectory for life!

Share with your friends about how proud you are to have made it to work on time all week when you’re prone to being late. That’s progress. Or when you finally get into a routine of exercising, express how great you feel because of it. That’s a positive change in your life. Some people might not seem as excited or happy for you as you’d think they would be, but that’s their problem not yours. A lot of times people won’t share your excitement because it highlights what they need to change in their own life. It’s a reflection of what they feel they need to do, so don’t take offense or feel hurt over it. As long as you’re not parading around showcasing the differences between the two of you and putting anyone down, then you’ll be fine. Carry on.

I just think we need to start feeling good about ourselves and this is one of the many ways to do it. You don’t even have to tell anybody about what you’re doing, even just recognizing it yourself and giving yourself a pat on the back will do the trick. We all have our own battles and things we deal with day in and day out, so I believe that if we start focusing on what we have done and how kick ass we are for having done it, then we’d all be a lot happier and proud of ourselves. So I’m here to give you a virtual high five for whatever victory you had today or this week! Keep grinding, do your thang and never let anyone downplay your accomplishments. You’re doing great.

Goodbye Ego, Hello Happiness

From my last post I gave you a little glimpse on the self improvement strategies I had been implementing in my life and I’m happy to say that I actually stayed consistent with them. It’s been a daily practice but I’m starting September off on the right foot (mindset wise) and the shift in my overall energy has been a welcomed one.

For some, not all, September is a time to slow down, enjoy routine and the crisp air that comes after a very warm (and enjoyable) summer. I live for the couple months in between summer and winter and I always feel like September is the time for a fresh start. That could be because it’s usually when the new school year starts and you set out on another chapter in life, but I always look at it as a time to learn and move forward. Plus, who doesn’t want to wear leggings and sweaters 24/7 and drink tea?

20 Things I Love About Fall | Totally Pinteresting

Anyways, I wanted to share a few things regarding happiness and how I used to measure it. I used to be a person who was constantly looking ahead and planning. If anything happened I had to imagine what it would be like down the road and how it would affect me and how it would make me feel and I would agonize over the outcome that I wanted. This never really allowed me to sit back and enjoy what was happening in the present moment and I always felt like I had a sense of urgency and anxiety. I just wanted these outcomes NOW so that I could feel happy NOW. It was as if something good would happen and I would immediately think “can I keep this up?”, “will this last?” “what if this doesn’t turn out how I want?”, “what if I fail?” and so on and so forth. Everything was very fear based and my ego would always get the best of me and convince me to be skeptical and worrisome.

It’s been a habit of mine to only focus on my future wants and needs and to not actually appreciate what I already have. Which obviously didn’t take long to start affecting me mentally and physically. I kept telling myself that once I had my dream job I would be happy. Once I had a full savings account I would be happy. Once I was in the perfect relationship then I could totally be happy or once I was back at my lowest weight I would be happy. Sounding familiar yet? A lot of us are in such a hurry to reach those goals and dreams that we don’t stop and enjoy the journey. We see it as a burden and another hurdle to jump in order to get where we want. Our society measures success by how fast you can attain it and it is so depleting on everyone’s energy. I never felt like I could truly be happy unless I accomplished all of these things. It was as if I told myself that I had no real reason to be happy because none of these items were checked off yet. Awful right?

This is perfect. ♥️

Thinking about how far away all of my visions and dreams were was depressing and it hung like a cloud over me. Something good would happen but I would brush it off because it wasn’t a part of the bigger accomplishments I wanted to achieve. It wasn’t a great time, hence why I started the self improvement that I desperately needed. Fast forward to now and I feel like a new person. Do I have my dream house, a ton of money at my disposal, a flawless relationship or size 0 jeans? No. I definitely don’t, but for once I am okay with that. I am happy with where I am at NOW and am actively working towards smarter, more attainable goals that I know I can take my time with. My sense of urgency and anxiousness is gone and that in itself has been a huge relief.

I feel like I am much more patient as a parent and my time with Casey has flourished. I am enjoying sitting and playing instead of stressing out about what needs to be done for the future. I can focus my attention to the moments in front of me and for once in my life I’m okay with not knowing what the future may hold. Letting go of that control was very difficult, I won’t lie, but I can’t get over how much of a difference it has made on me. This year I have played catch up with my close friends and am finally enjoying time with them all. In previous years I wouldn’t accept invites or make the time to see them because of a restricting relationship where guilt played a big role and limited my time with them. It’s sad but true, and I am truly grateful they are still a part of my life and now Casey’s life too. They have brought me so much joy and showed me so much compassion this year that it made me realize how lucky I am to have them. Sometimes we get so caught up in other things that we forget about the meaningful people in our lives, and we lose that sense of belonging. Thankfully, they have allowed me to laugh more than I thought I could and being around them has definitely helped bring my focus back to what is really important.

This past weekend I finally came to the conclusion that I AM happy. I have a great job, a hilarious and smart son, a wonderful family, friends who care about me and I’m healthy. I have no idea what the future holds for me, but I know that if I keep working hard and putting the effort in and overthrow my ego with positive thoughts then I will be just fine. I am finally at a place of peace and balance and whatever happens, happens. I’m open to new opportunities and not stuck to a rigid regimen anymore and it’s definitely opened some new doors for me. It’s been a long time coming, but it’s progress.

And this is why people are slowly disappearing from my life... don't have time for anything I don't love and BEAT for!

So take the time to be around people and things that bring you genuine happiness. Take that trip you’ve wanted to for years but put off because “you don’t deserve it until you’re making “x” amount of money”, or take a night out and enjoy supper with friends even if your ego says “you should spend it working instead”.  Just remember this: your thoughts can affect you in so many ways and you deserve to enjoy your life now, rather than later.  Happiness can’t be measured by materialistic things, and you’re allowed to be happy even if you don’t have every single thing you want in life. Start small and match your actions to your expectations. You have a lot more going for you than you think, so take a moment to step back and just relax.  It’ll all come together when it needs to.

 

 

Improve Yo Self

In this past month there has been a lot going on in my quiet little world. Things that have taken me by surprise as well as a few frustrations and optimal learning moments. From these situations, I came to the conclusion that it was time to do some self improvement. Because really, you can’t go wrong when you want to better yourself. Right??

The way I was feeling and reacting to these “new” circumstances, which were definitely ones I’ve encountered before, was a bit concerning and I noticed a very common theme. I was stuck in a thought pattern and it wasn’t helping me anymore. It was like I had an epiphany. I realized that I had been dealing with things in the same way for the last 10 years and it obviously wasn’t serving me well anymore. It was very clear that when I was faced with a difficult situation I would immediately respond in the same way I had been for years. I would overthink, create scenarios based on fear in my mind and let it consume my life. It wasn’t until I actually sat down and thought about why I was feeling so emotional that I realized it wasn’t the circumstances that were making me feel this way, it was my initial reactions and behaviours that were. 


It felt like I had been dealing with the same things over and over and finally it dawned on me. These situations will keep happening until I change how I deal with them. Seems so simple, yet it was something I never realized until now. You will be thrown the same things in life until you learn to properly overcome them and heal from them. It was quite obvious that I could not move on from certain things because I had never fully dealt with them in the past. It was quite an “AHA” moment. 

Take a second and think back to significant events in your life. Do you see a pattern? Do you notice that there’s a few that are oddly similar and that you basically reacted the same way during each event? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, we get very programmed to respond in the only ways we know how to. Often we’re taught how to act when faced with a difficult situation and that becomes the basis for the rest of our lives. We also get very stuck into habits because they’re familiar and comfortable to us, even if they are detrimental. 

Making changes in how we think and act is usually pretty uncomfortable, so a lot of times people just avoid it completely. Nobody wants to face their flaws and open up a decades worth of emotions. It’s just human nature. Call it self preservation if you will, but nobody wants to let down their walls and come face to face with their biggest fears. But guess what? In order to grow and get the most out of life, you’re going to have to do it. You can’t heal and move on from something when it’s been suppressed and it will always be there until you finally decide to tackle it head on. As hard as you may try to tuck it away and not think about it, it will always come back up, whether that’s in the situations or people you encounter throughout your life. Until you make the effort to change your self engrained habits and thought processes, you will never overcome them. Yes, it’s scary, but it’s worth it. 

Now I wouldn’t be telling you this without having done so myself. I’ll be the first to admit that yes, it’s very uncomfortable to deal with fears and old wounds, and that it definitely doesn’t happen overnight. You have to actively work on it each and every day and slowly pick away at it. It definitely makes you emotional, but once you notice even the slightest shift in your energy, it starts to make it feel pretty worth while. You’re going to have to forgive people you may not have wanted to before, you might have to make peace with situations you buried away, and you might have to let go of a few things so that they can properly play out without your interference. It’s a major change to deal with and go through, so be mindful that you have to be ready for it before you dive in. Be prepared to have your world shook up for a while, but know that in the end, when the work and healing is done, you’ll be at peace and will start seeing and encountering all the positive things that were meant for you. 

I know I have a long road ahead of me but I’m so glad that I started. You can change your outcome if you take the time to release the feelings and energies that no longer serve you. Get rid of those toxic thought patterns and behaviours and actively work towards the outcome that you want. Reiki, meditation, energy clearing, all those kinds of things can help, but ultimately it comes down to you and how much you want to create a different story for yourself. You can keep replaying the same things over and over OR you can start now and adopt healthy coping skills and overcome the things that shake you to your core. The choice is yours 💞 

Independent Tendencies 

If you’re someone who likes to go about things on your own and who generally doesn’t need (or want) help from others, then we have something in common. Do you find that you don’t rely on a lot of people because you know you can do things by yourself? If so, then welcome to the club.

 I’m here to talk about what it’s like to be super independent and driven and how it can sometimes affect the things/people around you. I know there’s others out there like me so I’m writing this to say that “I GET IT”, I’m with you and I understand your self sufficient (sometimes overwhelming) ways. 

For some (not all), once you’re in the habit of doing things for yourself and by yourself, it’s tough to change your tendencies and see the overall effects of your independence on others and the situations you come into contact with. Most of the time when you’re fiercely self reliant you tackle things head on and almost get tunnel vision when you set your sights on what you want. For me, I find that I have no problem diving into things at full speed and I’m realizing now that to a lot of people, it can be overwhelming and shocking to them when this plays out. Oops. 

Us go-getters usually have an easy sense of knowing what we want and when we want it and sometimes we forget the word “patience”…which can be a bit troublesome. We are generally so used to accomplishing things quickly because we’ll work our asses off for it non-stop until it’s done and sometimes it’s hard for us to comprehend that some things just take time and can’t be done or figured out overnight. To people who like to analyze things and take their time to weigh out options, this approach can come across as severe and overbearing, and it’s definitely not intentional from our side of things. We just always have a sense of urgency and base our successes on the timeline created in our minds, whether it’s realistic or not. 

A lot of people who are self reliant also possess a bit of a Type A personality and I’m definitely no exception. I know that I can be outgoing, competitive and somewhat assertive and I try to do a million things at once. As hard as I try to keep it all altogether, it doesn’t take long for cracks to start forming. Balancing things has never been my strong suit and I get easily consumed with focusing my time and energy on one main priority, all the while juggling five other things. It’s exhausting and yet another learning curve for me. Which, yes I’m working on…slowly. 

When you spend a lot of time alone (I’m all about that hermit life), it’s easy to want to fill your time up with as much as possible and focus in on your goals and fantasies. It consumes us, and it’s really no fault of our own, it’s just how we are. We often make our minds up right away of how we want things to play out and we often don’t think about the outside factors that might come into affect. Everything is usually full speed ahead until reality kicks in and stops us in our tracks, and I’m telling you from experience that it’s a tough pill to swallow. When you’re super self-sufficient you often only think about how YOU will attain your goal and unfortunately you don’t always take other people into consideration. Which again, is never on purpose and when we recognize it, we usually feel bad about it. It’s easy for us to think that others share the same mindset as we do and that usually causes some friction and miscommunication. 

Taking this into consideration and recognizing it, has given me (and hopefully others) the chance to gain some clarity on our ways and it can teach us how to reel our actions in and use them to their full potential. I know that I need to practice patience and trust the timing of things more often and that I need to quit getting ahead of myself. It’s a slow process but learning to take a step back can sometimes pay off in the long run. More often than not we have a picture in our minds of how we WANT things to be and we get very discouraged when those visions don’t materialize right away or if at all. It’s taken me a long time to learn that I can’t control everything and that sometimes the best thing you can do is loosen your grip and hope for the best. 


So to all you independent, focused, freewheeling people out there, I get you and I hope that you take the time to see things from other people’s points of views because sometimes they can offer a lot of insight. There’s always different ways to improve upon yourself and I hope you all take the time to do so, no matter your personality. Yes, it’s great to be self sufficient but sometimes you need to relax and learn to let things play out. You cannot control each and every event that comes into your life, and that’s OKAY. Learn to breathe, trust the process and allow things to happen how they’re supposed to. Yes, it can be difficult, but periods of growth and change usually are and they’re definitely worth it in the end. 

Ladies! Listen Up…

Now, I really should be packing for my weekend away but I’ve had this somewhat nagging voice in my head these last couple days telling me to write and get my words out. So I figured I might as well do it now because this weekend will definitely be too busy to sit and blog. Fun fact: I’m going to Banff for my second half marathon and am beyond excited to be surrounded by mountains. It’s a girl’s weekend and it’s a very welcomed break (minus the 21km of running). 

So the thing I want to talk about today is more geared towards us women, but could definitely be applied to men as well. But, that’s up to you. What I want to discuss is a little thing I call respect. For today’s purpose, it’s in the focus of relationships. Now, given I am no expert in this department, but I have been through my fair share of…how do I say this nicely…BS. I feel like I’m finally back on my feet and kicking ass and taking names and I want to empower more women and let them know that they are worthy of good things, especially when it comes to relationships. 


In the sense of relationships, one of the biggest things I have noticed and have come to realize is that if there is no respect within a relationship, then there is no point in staying in it. Seems pretty common sense but you’d be surprised at how it can slowly creep in and take over. You sometimes think that you can build it up and “work” on it, but trust me when I say this, there’s no way that’s ever going to change a disrespectful man. They’re already set in their ways and are in no hurry to fix themselves.

It crushes me to see women with men who have zero interest in respecting her, her belongings and her overall interests and personal life. Ladies, I’m here to tell you that if he’s pushing your boundaries and overstepping and making you feel less than great early on, it’s not going to change. Ever. Get out now because once he’s established having no respect for you it will only snowball and start causing emotional stress on you. Pretty soon you start to see these smart, beautiful, fiery women feeling insecure and hiding their real selves because the “boy” they’re with has made them feel that way. This may be coming across as a rant, but I feel very passionate about this because I’ve dealt with it. It sucks and it’s hard to come to terms with. Plus, this is my way of finally letting go of some of my old baggage, so bear with me here. 

You don’t realize at the time that those are components of a bad relationship until you are out of it. It’s very easy to get caught up in it and many times you wind up blaming yourself because you’re so used to feeling low. A good relationship doesn’t leave you questioning whether you’re a good person or not. A good relationship is one where you can be yourself, where you’re not walking on eggshells and not in a constant state of anxiety. 

So please, if you have respect for yourself, don’t allow someone else to take it away from you and dangle it over your head. There are far better things out there, and people, who are willing to work with you and build you up and make you feel like your best self. It may not seem like it right away, but I guarantee you you will cross paths with someone who likes you exactly for who you are and who will treat you like the queen you are.


 Life should be fun, relationships should be uplifting and you should radiate that self love like there’s no tomorrow. So all in all, if you respect yourself, you’ll find someone who feels the same way and who will ultimately make you believe in fairytales again. Don’t let a bad relationship ruin your future ones, see it as a lesson and vow to never let it happen again. You can always learn from them and build yourself back up, but just make sure you take the time to find someone who doesn’t tear you back down. There’s good men out there, be patient. 

So there’s your pep talk for the weekend. Time to be the boss babe you were always meant to be and like the saying goes, keep your chin up and don’t let boys be mean to you ✌🏼 

Collecting My Thoughts 

I was going to write about my health and fitness journey, at least that’s what I had planned in my head over the last couple weeks, but now that I’m here, on the deck, with my coffee, I don’t feel like that’s where my thoughts are. Someday soon I’ll dive into that and share with you all the ups and downs I’ve so graciously experienced, but today I think I just want to talk about life as of late. This post is more for me to get my thoughts out so just a heads up, it may not spark interest in you all. But please read on if you’re looking for something to do…


Some of you may know this already, but for those who don’t, I have recently taken over a nutrition business and I finally feel like I’m on the right path (whoop whoop). It’s been a long learning curve for me, especially the business side of things, but it also feels oddly normal and routine. Meeting with clients and sharing their successes and missteps has been absolutely awe inspiring and I’ve gotten a sense of “this is exactly what you need to be doing in life” and for the first time ever, I feel comfortable with the direction I am heading in. 

Now, with that, I’ve also had to do some adjusting with the other aspects in my life. My biggest one right now is the time I’ve had with my horses and the barrel racing season here. My time with my mares is near and dear to my heart and something I couldn’t live without (for reals). Normally, I would be riding every night, planning out jackpots and rodeos for the summer and stocking my trailer with the necessities needed for a weekend away. This was a big part of my life in previous years and I’m slowly coming to terms with it being less of a priority this time around. It’s tough, because I absolutely love it and want Casey to experience that side of things, but at the same time my focus is on our future, building this business up and creating a life that is great for him and I. Now I’m not saying that I will be completely stopping, because let’s be honest, that would be a true heart break, but I’m looking at it as a much needed time out. Sometimes in life we have to sacrifice things we completely enjoy in order to advance to more personal goals, and that’s absolutely okay. 

With that off my chest (this is my stress relief remember?) I just wanted to quickly dabble in what I’ve been doing to keep my anxiety in check and how I’ve been keeping those great outcomes coming my way. Call me crazy (which I’m sure some do), but I whole heartedly believe in the law of attraction. Years ago I kind of half assed the thought of it and how the Universe will serve you back what you put out, and I honestly didn’t take it that seriously. Yes, it sounded cool and somewhat doable, but I never truly put it into practice. Fast forward to now though and you can find me sending out positive vibes like there’s no tomorrow. With this practice, I’ve found that when done consistently, it actually does work on a few levels. 

Picturing the outcome I want to achieve, rather than spending hours replaying stressful, made up scenarios in my head (we all do it) has been the biggest help so far. With any goal or dream that I set, I focus on how it would feel when I achieve it. I picture my exact emotions and sense of accomplishment when I’ve finally attained it and act as if it’s already been done. You have to embrace what you want and the more specific you are, the better. The Universe (or whatever you want to call it) takes exactly what you put forth and will always bring those situations or feelings back to you. 

You may think I’m off my rocker, but I dare you to try it. Shift your thinking and refocus your aspirations. Try to set a goal for the near future and work towards it, but get rid of the apprehension and replace it with excitement and gratefulness. By telling the Universe how happy you are to have this goal accomplished and how wonderful it feels to you, it will give it back to you and allow it all to come full circle. Trust in the process and be patient. It’ll all be worth it. It’s easy to get discouraged but if you keep working at it, you will achieve it. Simple right? Try adding this into your daily routine and give yourself a pat on the back for every stepping stone that you reach. And if all else fails you can say I’m full of it and go after your goals in your own way 😉 

And with that my friends, I’m off to go accumulate my own positive energy and I wish you all a very great weekend ☺️ 

Thursday Thoughts

Today I just wanted to share a quick, meaningful post with you all. Since the weekend I’ve been feeling “off” and my usual pep in my step has somehow dissapeared. I could blame it on a few things, such as a busy schedule, trying to balance time with Casey and time for myself or the fact that I’m not sure how I’m going to successfully juggle the million things that need to be done this month. For some reason, I’ve had bouts of insecurities creep up, along with the usual duo of doubt and fear. Now, deep down I know that these feelings start up whenever I’m in certain situations, and clearly that’s a personal problem I’m still working on fully overcoming, but since I already know where they stem from, I’m trying my hardest to acknowledge these thoughts and MOVE ON. 

Thankfully I’ve been reading a great book, which the timing is perfect on, because it is helping me tremendously. The book is “You are a BADASS. How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life” by Jen Sincero. It’s definitely opened my eyes to my old, detrimental thought patterns and behaviours, and is allowing me to actively focus on creating a better reality for myself. Of course, it’s going to take time to completely ditch the old ego and ways of thinking, but I honestly would be a twin to Eeyore right now if I didn’t have this book to tell me to stop being a baby and create my own circumstances, instead of wallowing in them. Seriously, go to Amazon and get this book, I promise you won’t be disappointed. 


What I wanted to get across is that it’s ok to have down days, just don’t stay there. Even though I look on the brighter side of things 99% of the time, I still have days where I feel like staying in my pj’s all day and hiding from the world. We’re all human, we’re allowed to have feelings and stumble a bit in life, but please don’t stop there. I can’t even count how many times I’ve hit roadblocks in life, and if I stopped and gave up at each one I would be living a pretty sad, crummy life. 


So, as part of my “healing and overcoming” I’m going to share 3 things I’m grateful for right now and I encourage you to do the same, no matter your mood. Try to be specific, the more detail you go into, the better. 

I’m grateful for…

  1. A roof over my head. Given the situation, I’m lucky to have parents who live here and who had extra space for Casey and I. 
  2. Casey’s health and happiness. I’m forever grateful to have a boy who is healthy and so full of life. 
  3. Friends who genuinely care about me. It’s the best feeling knowing that I have a group of people I can go to about anything, without judgement. 


With that, I hope you’re all kicking ass at whatever goals you’ve made or obstacles you’re facing. The weekend is almost here, hang in there! 

The Dating Game

Alright, the time has come to talk about…dating. Now, before you get all excited at the prospect of new gossip, I regret to inform you that alas, I am still solo. But, to be fair, it’s by choice, although it has crossed my mind a fair amount this last little while. The thing is, I’ve been dwelling on this for some time. It’s been over a year now and I kind of feel like it may be time to jump back in and see what’s out there. Except the thought of dating makes me want to hurl. So there’s that. I was also going to title this post “The Dating Game: A Single Girl’s Nightmare” but felt that would set a pretty ominous tone and I’m trying to stay positive about this chapter in life…

Let’s be honest though, it’s just so…awkward. Dating in high school is one thing, but dating after divorce with a child is a totally different ball park that I have no clue how to maneuver through. It’s been a solid 10 years since I’ve had to partake in it and let me tell you, I wasn’t exactly an all star at it before. My introverted side tells me to just hang out at home and bask in the comforts of my own space while I wait for someone to magically appear, while my extroverted side is screaming at me and telling me I’ll never meet anyone if I never leave the house. The struggle is real.

Plus, there’s so many variables about the whole dating scene. What are the rules? The expectations? It turns out that in this day and age, there’s a ton. You could be texting and chatting with someone for months on end, thinking it’s going somewhere, when all of a sudden you’re faced with the friend zone and a confused look on your face. Or better yet, you get “ghosted” (a new term I learned to feel hip and cool) and all that time you spent talking basically led to the other person disappearing…with no explanation. Oh how fun. And even better, there’s rules on texting now! Did you know that a double text (two texts right after each other) is seen as needy and desperate and something you should never do? If you’re like me, you did not know this. And you don’t overly care. Clearly I need to pick up a new Cosmo every once in a while to properly understand these “techniques” *insert the biggest eye roll you’ve ever seen*

Next, and this is a big one, is the time you invest. As I slowly approach the idea of dating, I worry that I won’t have time to properly invest in someone. Between raising a high energy boy and attempting to work and make a stable income, I don’t exactly have a lot of free time. And when I do, I usually already have a plan on how I’ll spend it, so it’s going to take someone pretty special to fill it up. Take note.

On a brighter note, this year has been filled with A LOT of reflection and deciding what I need/want in terms of a potential relationship. It has taken a lot of confidence boosters, positive self talk and learning to love myself to get me comfortable with the idea of being with someone new and I must say, I’m feeling pretty good about the whole idea. It was almost like I had an epiphany like Jess from New Girl when she bursts out of her room yelling “I’M READY” to everyone, despite elaborating  on the fact she meant she’s ready to start dating again. We share the same awkwardness so it seemed fitting.

Amen to that sister 🙌🏻


I guess what I wanted to get across today is that no matter your situation, dating is not an easy or fun thing to start or do. There’s a lot of small talk, sweaty hands, one too many drinks to calm the nerves and sometimes hurt feelings. Obviously I’m going to take baby steps and stay optimistic about it all, but high fives to all of you that are enduring this awkward stage in life. It’s a lot to think about, especially after a separation, but I’m hopeful. I suppose that’s all you can be really, blindly optimistic that there is someone out there who will compliment you in ways no one has before. We are all worthy of love, no matter our past, and I do have faith that there’s someone for everyone. Plus, I don’t think I’m ready to own 30 cats just yet 😉

 

 

 

 

 

Live and Learn 

This week hosts a couple of milestones, the first being that it’ll be the 1 year anniversary of this blog! Wow, that went by fast. I remember agonizing over starting it and the anxiety that came with writing those first couple posts. Now, I can’t wait to sit and write, it’s a huge stress reliever! Funny how that works. Then, on top of that I will be turning the ripe old age of 26 on Thursday, which directly correlates with the topic I chose to write about…

I wanted to sit down and reflect on life (because isn’t that what you do when you have a birthday coming up?) and look at all the things I have come to know and learn in my 26 years of age. Now it probably isn’t a very vast or exciting list, but I can’t deny that I have had some pretty, let’s say, “interesting” experiences that have helped shape who I am today. So with that I’ll jump right in (I told myself I wouldn’t write a novel for you guys, let’s see if I can stick to that…)

26 Lessons I’ve Learned in 26 Years

  1. Turning 18 does not make you an adult in all aspects of life. Looking back, at 18 we were still such kids with soooo much to learn and go through. Stop thinking you need your life figured out as soon as you hit that age. Enjoy it!
  2. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t second guess it. I don’t know how many times I talked myself out of feeling “off” only to have it blow up in my face and my inner voice telling me “I told you so”. Trust your gut, it’s usually right.
  3. Be confident when saying no to a person or situation. It’s okay to have a backbone and be assertive, because if you don’t do it for yourself nobody else will.
  4. Stop making excuses. You are in total control of your life (to an extent) and if you keep making excuses you are allowing goals and dreams to slip out of your grasp. Plus, excuses usually lead to complaining, and nobody likes a complainer.
  5. Want something? Go get it. So many times I thought certain things were unattainable, but eventually I learned to sit down, write out what I wanted and the steps I was going to take to make it happen. It really does work!
  6. Focus on your own life and quit worrying about others. Nobody follows the same path in life, so just because you’re taking a different route doesn’t mean you’re less than anyone else. This was a huge thing for me!
  7. Stop associating with negative people. Misery loves company, and if you find yourself surrounded by this kind of energy on a daily basis, you’ll start acting the same way. Take a step back and find people with as much passion and joy as you have.
  8. Sometimes things don’t work out, and that’s okay. Life can throw curve balls and how you react to them will determine how you overcome them.
  9. If you can’t control it, don’t stress over it. This was something that was difficult for me to learn, but it was such a huge relief when I finally accepted it.
  10. Be open minded. A lot of times it’s easy to get stuck on one idea. If it doesn’t work out, it likely wasn’t meant for you. A lot of times when an opportunity passes us it’s because better things are on their way. Do the work and what’s meant for you will come.
  11. Don’t let people take advantage of you. This applies to all areas in life. The workplace, friendships, home life, relationships. If you’re continuously giving and not getting anything in return, it may be time to re-evaluate the situation.
  12. Your happiness and health comes first. It’s not being selfish if you put an emphasis on what makes you happy because if you’re enjoying life and feeling good, you will apply that to everything else. Stop putting others needs and wants first if yours are not being met.
  13. Do not chase people. I can’t emphasize this enough. If you have to convince someone to stay in your life, you’ve already lost. Plus, why would you want someone in your life who doesn’t want to be there? Let them walk and move on. Trust me on this one, there are people out there willing to make you a priority!
  14. Support your friends and family. Be there for them. You never know when you’re going to need a shoulder to cry on or that extra backup when making a tough decision. It’s easy to pick up the phone, so call, text, and keep in touch with those important people in your life.
  15. Be confident in yourself!! In your looks and in your life choices. There is no shame in the way you look or how you are choosing to live your life. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters.
  16. Don’t get caught up in a relationship that takes time away from your friendships. Enough said.
  17. Stemming from that, be wary of a relationship that stresses you out. If it doesn’t make you feel good and causes you anxiety, then you’re better off without it.
  18. Don’t let your ego get in your way. Sometimes you have to do things you said you’d never do and that’s all part of life.
  19. Start a savings account. This may seem simple, but it is such an important thing. You never know what could happen, so put a percentage of each month’s paycheque into your savings. Plus it’s great if you’re just starting out on your own or want to travel.
  20. Take time to find balance. Don’t run yourself into the ground. Learn that rest is just as important as the hustle. Exhausted people are not efficient people.
  21. Think before you speak. No brainer, but sometimes it’s easy to say things that we later regret, and that’s never a good feeling.
  22. Stop feeling guilty!! Guilt is by far the worst and easiest emotion to feel. It will not change anything, so its best to just let whatever it is you’re feeling guilty about go. Wish I had learned this sooner!
  23. Take care of yourself. Both mentally and physically. If you’re feeling down, seek help. You only get this one body, so make sure it’s one that will last. Yeah pizza is great, but so is feeling healthy, so make sure to balance that out when you can.
  24. Don’t be afraid of getting out of that comfort zone. By doing things that scare me, I’ve been able to meet some great new people and partake in opportunities that I would’ve missed before by being “safe”.
  25. You’ll be okay if someone tells you no. You are going to run into this a lot, so you might as well come to terms with hearing it. It doesn’t mean you should give up, it just means you need to approach things differently or look at it from a different perspective.
  26. Last, but not least, good things come to those who work. I’ve learned that you can’t sit around and wait for things to happen. You have to put in the time and effort and eventually it will all come together. Be patient and persevere. Being a hard worker always shows and you will open so many doors for yourself with just that one quality.

And there you have it. It’s a lot to read, so if you’ve made it this far, thank you! I hope you guys have a great week and if you have anything to add, feel free to comment below 🙂